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Last night I watched The Swan for the first time. That is one seriously messed up show.

For those of you who have never seen it, they take two women who are supposed to be homely (although the women on last night were really normal looking), give them massive amounts of plastic surgery, dental work and hair extensions, and at the end pick which one of the women is prettier. The winners all go on to compete in a "pageant" at the end of the season, the winner of which is crowned The Swan.

Gag.

"I came on the show because I want to teach my daughter to have self-confidence," one of the "contestants" sniffled.

Right. Because getting massive amounts of plastic surgery ("I want to go as big as you can make me . . . at least a DD," she instructed the plastic surgeon as they discussed her breast implants) is how you go about teaching your daughter to have self-confidence.

And the really weird thing is that both of the women on last night were transformed from looking perfectly ordinary to looking like strippers. Lots of silicone, fat injected lips and tacky low-cut dresses.

Or is that the point? Maybe we'll see them next season on a new reality show entitled, I Want To Be A Porn Star.

You know it's just a matter of time.

Posted 09 November 2004 at 07:58 AM