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Today is George's 36th birthday. I decided to bake him a cake.

Noon: Feed Sam lunch, and while he's confined to his highchair, mix together the cake batter from scratch.

12:30: Pop cake pans in pre-heated oven. Set timer for thirty minutes.

1:00: Check cakes. Notice they’re both still raw in middle.

1:05: Check cakes again. Still not done.

1:10: Ditto

1:12: Remove cake pans from oven.

1:20: Sample cake. Realize it tastes like a chocolate shoe. And not in a good way.

1:22: Throw out cake layers. Wash pans.

1:45: Remember have a box of cake mix in the pantry. Dig it out.

1:50: Mix up second bowl of cake batter.

1:55: Pop cake pans back in the oven.

2:30: Check cakes. Not done.

2:35: Check cakes again, and remove from oven. Put on racks to cool.

4:00: Make chocolate frosting.

4:10: Try to remember if you layer the cake so that the two flat sides are together, or the two lumpy sides. Decide to put the flat sides together. Commence frosting.

4:15: Notice that the cake looks wonky. Decide made mistake when positioning layers. Scrape frosting off of cake, reposition layers so that lumpy sides are together. Commence frosting.

4:20: Admire work . . . then watch in horror as cake splits in half and the layers begin to slide off of plate.

4:21: Stick cake in fridge, hoping that the chilled air will cement the frosting and keep cake from falling apart.

4:22: Take cake out of refrigerator. Wonder if George will notice the cake has split in half.

4:23: The cake splits in half the other way.

4:24: Throw second cake out.

4:26: Call Stuart Fine Foods. Explain cake emergency, and ask bakery attendant if they have any spares. Am so relieved when she says yes, pretend that I don't hear her laughing at me.

4:30: Stuff baby in car seat. Drive to supermarket.

5:00: Arrive home with cake.

5:02: Pour glass of wine. Collapse from exhaustion, while baby attempts to thrust his tattered copy of Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? in my hands.

Posted 04 January 2005 at 04:52 PM