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Speaking of pet stories, one of my favorites is about Otis the Cowardly Pit Bull.

During my first year of law school, I had a friend, David, who lived in my apartment building. David’s roommate was a pit bull mix named Otis, with whom I promptly fell in love. (The dog, not the guy.) When David was out, Otis would hang out in my apartment, sleeping in my bed and hogging all of the pillows.

“Be careful,” my mom warned. “Pit bulls can be dangerous.”

The idea of Otis being considered dangerous made me snort with laughter. In fact, Otis was something of a coward. If you were looking for someone to shamelessly steal food, than Otis was your dog. He once ran into my apartment, looped into the living room where I’d just set out my dinner of leftover baby back ribs, nimbly snatched the ribs off my plate and flew back out the door in under 6 seconds flat. Another time, he got up on the counter, ate an entire pizza, closed the box and then slunk out of the apartment before I realized what he’d done.

But when it came to posing as a ferocious guard dog, Otis was pretty much useless.

One day, David came home to discover that his apartment had been broken into. The thieves had taken everything of value -- money, his skis, his computer.

And, worst of all, Otis was missing.

“Otis!” David cried. “They took Otis! I don’t care about the stuff, but did they have to take my dog?”

Except, that Otis wasn’t missing. He was hiding under the bed.

That’s right: the big, tough, scary pit bull was so terrified by the intruders, he’d hunkered down under the bed, and stayed there long after they left. We couldn’t even talk him into coming out. Finally, David and I each grabbed a paw and dragged him -– still shaking with terror -- out from under the bed.

My twenty-pound pug would have at least sounded the alarm before she hid under the bed. But then, she's got moxie.

Posted 06 February 2006 at 07:12 PM