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There’s a new race in the Mother Superior game of I Can Parent Better Than You: sunscreen.

When I was a kid, we either went without or we wore SPF 4, usually Coppertone or that really yummy orange smelling Bain de Soleil brand (Bain de Soleil for that San Tropez tan . . .). These days no self-respecting Mother Superior would let her child out of the house in anything less than SPF 30. And that’s only if you’re a bad mommy.

“Little Austin wears SPF 150,” a Mother Superior will sniff.*

“Well, my little Morgan only leaves the house wearing a toe-to-neck surf suit that completely blocks out all of the sun’s rays,” another M.S. says smugly (neglecting to mention that little Morgan ended up in the hospital with heat stroke, because E.R. trips seriously cut down on your M.S. rating).

“. . . well, I wrap Parker in tinfoil . . .”

“. . . I only let Ashley out of the house at night . . .”

It’s not that I don’t slap some sunscreen on Sam before we had out to the park; I do. I just don’t get the part where it’s something to feel smug about.

* Yes, this is mostly fictional, but even so, you just know that somewhere, out there, the Mother Superiors are having this exact conversation.

Posted 31 May 2006 at 01:34 PM