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Sam is starting pre-school next week, and I will be responsible for packing him a lunch to take with him.

Now, I know this shouldn’t be a difficult task, except for the small problem that Sam is going through a bit of a picky phase, and will only eat about four different food items, all of which need to be cooked prior to serving (like grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken fingers). And Sam feels free to randomly reject even those foods with absolutely no notice, just to keep me on my toes.

Every summer, the mom’s magazines start featuring back-to-school articles on ways to jazz up the ol’ lunch box, although they all show the same damn thing – turkey, cream cheese and grated vegetables wrapped up in a whole wheat tortilla. Which is great, except that my son, (a) won’t eat turkey, (b) won’t eat vegetables, grated or otherwise, and (c) will only eat tortillas if they’re warm and slathered with butter.

I started to obsess about this potential lunch problem weeks ago, and today, after George and I attended the pre-school’s open house, I expressed my misgivings to him. You know: expecting some spousal support, and maybe – just maybe – some constructive ideas.

ME: I could try giving him a Lunchable. Although, Sam usually just eats the cookies, and ditches the rest. (Ed.’s note: for those not in the know, Lunchables are pre-packaged trays of deli meat, cheese, crackers and cookies. Admittedly, they are a bit junky, but oh-so-convenient.)

GEORGE: You can’t give him Lunchables. That’s wandering into serious Bad Mom territory.

ME: . . .

ME: Excuse me? Did you really just say ‘Bad Mom territory’?

GEORGE: And don’t send in crudités either. You don’t want to be that mom. You know: Trying-To-Hard Mom.

ME:

GEORGE: And definitely don’t be the Hippy-Granola-and-Dried-Fruit Mom. You’ve got to give the boy something he can trade with the other kids. On the inside, a Ring-Ding is like money.

ME:

GEORGE: What? Why are you looking at me like that?

Posted 04 August 2006 at 03:16 PM