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Heard Around The House, Part 29

Scene: Leaving a restaurant

Me: I can’t believe you just said that to her.

George: What?

Me: You never, ever tell a mom that her baby looks like an old man.

George: All babies look like old men. Like fat, bald old men.

Me: But you don’t say that. You never say that. You just say that their baby is beautiful and leave it at that.

George: Hey, I’m just speaking the truth.

Me: You’re not fit to take out in public.

Link | 25 September 2006 at 12:30 PM |

Spooky!

So, what do you think of this costume? Too over-the-top for my son’s nursery school's Halloween party?


batgirl.jpg


I think it's necessary to see the back of the costume to make an informed judgment.


batgirl 2.jpg


It's a balancing act . . . I want to keep it young and fun, but then again, I don't want the other moms to be intimidated by my God-given talent for incorporating spandex into my wardrobe.

I should probably also mention that Sam goes to a Christian nursery school. Which is held at a church. And that they don't call it a Halloween party; it's the "Harvest Party." But hey, it's not like I'm proposing I show up in a red thong with a pair of pointy horns on my head, right?

Link | 22 September 2006 at 04:06 PM |

Heard Around The House, Part 28

Me: Shhhh. Grey’s Anatomy is on. If you continue to talk, I’m going to make you leave the room.

George: I thought this was our quality time together.

Me: You thought wrong. Now be quiet. You’re talking over Dr. McDreamy.

Link | 22 September 2006 at 06:33 AM |

Literary Chicks

This week: Thinking of going to law school? Well, don't. Really. It's a bad idea.

Link | 20 September 2006 at 08:13 AM |

I Heart Target

One more reason to love Target . . . they've selected TESTING KATE for their Breakout Books program!

Look for it on the Target Breakout Books endcaps in November and December. Yay!

Link | 13 September 2006 at 08:04 AM |

Literary Chicks

This week: rock stars and ukuleles.

Link | 13 September 2006 at 07:27 AM |

Literary Chicks

This week . . . I'm a plant killer.

Link | 05 September 2006 at 08:21 AM |

Life With A Toddler: Part 30

I’d been wanting a bar cart for ages, but kept putting off getting one, mostly because of Sam. Two-year-olds and martini glasses don’t mix. But then I stumbled across a super cool retro lucite one at a local thrift store, and I had to have it.

And, as it turns out, I was right. Bar carts and toddlers? Not such a good combo.

I haven’t done anything as crazy as putting out glassware on the cart, which is good, since Sam has taken over the cart for use as a stuffed animal moving device. He piles his Tigger and his Seal and Duck and Elmo onto the bar cart, and then pulls it behind him as he wanders through the house.

He also likes to sit on the bar cart, and have me push him around on it.

I tell you, it’s hard to be a hipster under these conditions. I knew that once I gave in to getting that damned minivan, it would be a slippery slope.

Sadly, I think this will be the last Life With A Toddler entry . . . Sam's turning three on Tuesday and will officially on longer be considered a toddler. Gah! Where is the time going?

Next up: Life With A Preschooler: Part 1 . . .

Link | 03 September 2006 at 09:49 AM |

Hey, Look At Me! I'm Bringing Down Western Civilization!

I generally ignore the chick-lit critics banging on about how awful the genre is. It's gotten old, and is usually just an attempt by the critic to show off how terribly intellectual she is.

But, as of late, the screeching has been getting a bit more shrill, and a bit more desperate.

Take, for example, the recent release of the anthology THIS IS NOT CHICK LIT. The title was obviously chosen for its unmistakable sense of self-importance and smug condescension, and one can only assume that its all-black block-print cover is designed to convey the gravitas of Serious Fiction.

It reminds me of those pale teenagers you see at the mall, the ones who dress head-to-toe in black, even when it’s ninety-five degrees out, terribly anxious that someone might fail to notice that They Are Different. They are somehow oblivious to the fact that in their Different-ness, they behave precisely alike.

Although there is some good contemporary literary fiction out there, there is also a large percentage of it that is every bit as formulaic as chick lit is alleged to be. How many Serious Literary Novels follow the same pattern?

1. Take a downtrodden character, preferably one adversely affected by racism/classism/sexism/anyism.

2. Very bad things happen to this already-downtrodden character. (A rape thrown in somewhere is pretty much a given.)

3. For a brief moment, things seem like they might get a little better . . . but then they get much, much worse.

4. The End.

Oh, and when a book is described on its dust jacket as having “lyrical prose”? That’s code for “the plot is shit.”

And then there is this recent column written anonymously by a woman claiming to be a former editor of women’s fiction. (One need not read very far to understand why she’s no longer an editor.)

“Chick lit is hurting America,” she announces.

And, no, she's not being ironic.

And just how is chick lit hurting America? Because it’s taking up shelf space in the bookstore that rightly belongs to Serious Literary Works! You, the reading public, Ms. Anonymous Ex-Editor insists, should not be reading what you want to read. Oh, no. You should be reading what she says you should read!

“In our culture, there is no longer a difference between snobbery and discerning taste,” she continues.

And by “discerning taste,” she means her taste. Not yours, the reading public, since clearly you’re too dumb to pick out your own reading material.

And don’t even think of calling her a misogynist! Because, hey, she says she’s not. (This might have been a bit more believable had she not then called a female political writer with whom she disagrees a “cunt bag.”)

It’s easy to dismiss Ms. Anonymous Ex-Editor as unhinged, but then again, there are people out there who really think this way – that they, and not you, should decide what book you’re going to curl up with at night. For all her ranting about the dark age of intellectual fascism that has descended upon America, she seems awfully comfortable with the idea of being appointed as the official arbiter of literary taste for us all.

UPDATE: Ron Hogan also has a good rebuttal to the column up at Galleycat. And he's trying to get the drop on who Miss Anon is . . .

Link | 01 September 2006 at 01:18 PM |