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One of the amazing things about parenthood is the things that you hear yourself say. And I don’t just mean the perennial favorite Because I said so.

The other day, Sam, my mom and I were at Gymboree. I was trying to persuade Sam to try on a hoodie sweater with a picture of a dump truck on it; he was more interested in hiding in the middle of a clothing rounder.

(Sam likes hiding in clothes racks. He especially likes bursting out from between the hangers, hopefully scaring someone in the process. I’ve tried telling him that this is really only funny until someone keels over with a heart attack, but that isn’t the most persuasive line to take with a four-year-old.)

Anyway. After five minutes of trying to coax Sam out of his rounder, I finally gave up and said, “If you come out, I’ll let you play with your knife.”

Instant silence fell over the Gymboree mothers. Shocked faces turned toward me. The air was thick with judgment.

Only my mother laughed. “You know, that just doesn’t sound right,” she said.

“It’s a foam knife,” I explained to the now silent crowd. “Peter Pan’s dagger. From the Disney Store. See?” I took the foam knife out of its Disney Store bag to illustrate my point. The staring continued. I became defensive. “Hey, don’t judge me! He just really likes Peter Pan!”

So, yeah, I’m now known as the mom who arms her son. Sure, it’s a foam dagger. (A really cool foam dagger that makes chink-chink-chink sounds when you press a little button on the handle. He has the Captain Hook sword and hook, too, so we can duel and yell, "Say you're a codfish!") But I guess from now on it’s probably not something I should announce in the middle of Gymboree.

Posted 07 November 2007 at 09:56 PM