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ME: I think a guy was hitting on me at the Publix deli meat counter.

GEORGE: Look at you! You still got it!

ME: Hmmm. I don’t think you’re supposed to have that reaction when another man hits on your wife. I think you’re supposed to talk about opening cans of whoop ass, etcetera.

GEORGE: I was trying to be supportive.

ME: Anyway, he had disgusting toe nails.

GEORGE: Ewwwwww!

ME: No kidding. They were a half an inch long. So long, they were starting to curl under. And you know how I feel about poor foot grooming.

GEORGE: Yes. You’ve mentioned something about it in the past.

ME: Badly pedicured feet make me hurl. Seriously: this guy was hitting on me, while wearing Tevas –

GEORGE: Wow, that’s bad.

ME: -- with his hideous, Howard Hughes toe nails on display for all the world to see. I nearly vomited right there at the deli counter. And I was wearing a wedding ring! What kind of a man hits on a married woman while he has ugly toe nails?

GEORGE: I think you just answered your own question.

Posted 07 April 2009 at 05:03 PM