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My Monday Morning Inspiration






Link | 13 April 2009 at 08:48 AM |

Survival Skills

After an afternoon spent watching Zoe patrol our back patio, unsuccessfully hunting lizards and doing her best to strike fear in the hearts of passing rottweilers who were safely outside the fence, I came across this story about miracle dog, Sophie Tucker.

After living with pugs for years, I'm always impressed by truly useful dogs. It's not that a pug wouldn't survive a ship wreck. But instead of swimming five miles to safety, then hunting feral baby goats for sustenance, a pug would simply float along until she found a bigger, more luxurious yacht passing by. Then, once aboard, the pug would insist upon taking over the state room and spend her remaining days at sea dining on filet mignon and bossing around the ship's crew into doing her bidding.

It's their greatest talent. The pug comfort gene.

Link | 12 April 2009 at 08:00 PM |

Heard Around The House, Part 47

ME: I think a guy was hitting on me at the Publix deli meat counter.

GEORGE: Look at you! You still got it!

ME: Hmmm. I don’t think you’re supposed to have that reaction when another man hits on your wife. I think you’re supposed to talk about opening cans of whoop ass, etcetera.

GEORGE: I was trying to be supportive.

ME: Anyway, he had disgusting toe nails.

GEORGE: Ewwwwww!

ME: No kidding. They were a half an inch long. So long, they were starting to curl under. And you know how I feel about poor foot grooming.

GEORGE: Yes. You’ve mentioned something about it in the past.

ME: Badly pedicured feet make me hurl. Seriously: this guy was hitting on me, while wearing Tevas –

GEORGE: Wow, that’s bad.

ME: -- with his hideous, Howard Hughes toe nails on display for all the world to see. I nearly vomited right there at the deli counter. And I was wearing a wedding ring! What kind of a man hits on a married woman while he has ugly toe nails?

GEORGE: I think you just answered your own question.

Link | 07 April 2009 at 05:03 PM |